Grieving the Loss of a Loved One: How to Cope, Heal, and Find Support
- Planful Aging
- Aug 8
- 4 min read

The loss of a loved one is one of life’s most heart-wrenching experiences. Whether it’s a spouse, parent, sibling, child, or lifelong friend, grief can feel disorienting and unrelenting. For older adults and caregivers, that grief often overlaps with other life transitions—health changes, retirement, or caregiving responsibilities—compounding the emotional weight.
If you’re mourning right now or walking alongside someone who is, know this: You are not alone. Grief is deeply personal, but it doesn’t have to be endured in isolation.
Understanding Grief: There Is No Right Way to Mourn
Grief is not a tidy, linear process. It may come in waves, with moments of calm interrupted by intense sorrow or sudden tears. Your emotions might include:
Shock, denial, or numbness
Intense sadness and longing
Anger, guilt, or even relief
Fatigue, sleep disturbances, or trouble eating
Difficulty concentrating or staying motivated
These are natural reactions. But if grief becomes overwhelming or prolonged, it may be a sign to seek support from mental health professionals or grief counselors.
Coping With Grief in Healthy, Healing Ways
1. Let Yourself Feel It All
Don’t suppress your emotions or judge yourself. Crying, journaling, praying, yelling—whatever helps you release the pain—it's all valid.
2. Stick to a Gentle Routine
Grief often disrupts sleep and motivation. A light structure to your day can be grounding. Make space for small rituals like walking in the morning or having tea in the evening.
Tip: A gentle fitness tracker like the Fitbit (affiliate link) can help monitor your sleep and movement, gently reminding you to care for your physical well-being.
3. Honor Their Memory
Create a memorial corner with photos or candles. Write letters to your loved one. Consider recording cherished stories using a digital voice recorder (affiliate link) or building a photo album.
Supporting the Surviving Parent While Grieving Yourself
When you lose a parent, your grief is immense—but if the other parent survives, they’ve likely lost a life partner, confidant, and daily companion. In these moments, adult children often carry the dual weight of their own grief while stepping into a support role for the remaining parent.
This may feel overwhelming, but your presence can provide stability during their darkest hours.
Why Your Support Matters
Your surviving parent may be struggling with:
Profound loneliness
Navigating practical tasks previously handled by their spouse
Guilt, anxiety, or emotional numbness
As a child, your steady presence can:
Offer emotional safety
Help with decision-making and day-to-day tasks
Encourage them to stay socially and mentally engaged
Even simple gestures—dropping off a meal, calling every evening, inviting them to family events—can make a difference.
Affiliate Tip: An Aura digital photo frame (affiliate link) can help keep family memories and new moments visible, brightening their space and reminding them they’re loved.
What About Your Grief?
You’re grieving too—and that’s okay. Support your parent, but don’t neglect your own emotional needs. Many families find it helpful to grieve together: share stories, listen to music your loved one enjoyed, or look through old photos.
Resource: BetterHelp connects you with grief counselors trained in complex family loss dynamics—including support for adult children and caregivers navigating dual roles.
Remember, being strong doesn’t mean being emotionless. It means staying connected.
Where to Turn for Grief Support
🧠 Mental Health Professionals
If sadness becomes chronic or paralyzing, grief therapy can help you cope and heal. Medicare and many private insurance plans include coverage for mental health.
Online therapy platforms like BetterHelp offer accessible grief support from home.
💬 Grief Support Groups
Support groups help you connect with others who understand your pain:
GriefShare offers in-person and virtual support nationwide
The Dinner Party connects grieving 20- and 30-somethings
Hospice organizations provide great information on the grieving process
❤️ Friends and Family
You don’t need eloquent words to support or be supported—just showing up is enough. Let others know what helps: “Please check in once a week” or “Can you help me with groceries this month?”
🛏️ Rest Is Healing
Grief is exhausting. Allow space for naps, breaks, or “grief days.” Soft lighting, cozy blankets, and calm music can offer small comforts.
Try a weighted blanket (affiliate link) to ease anxiety and improve sleep quality during emotionally draining nights.
When to Seek Help Immediately
Reach out to a mental health professional or crisis line if you experience:
Suicidal thoughts
Deep disconnection from others
Ongoing inability to perform daily tasks
Substance use to numb grief
There is no shame in asking for help. It takes courage—and could be life-saving.
Final Thoughts: Healing Isn’t Linear—But It Is Possible
Grief changes us. It can deepen our compassion, shift our priorities, and bring clarity to what matters most. You may never stop missing your loved one—but with time, space, and support, the raw pain will soften into something gentler, something bearable.
You can carry your love and loss with grace.
You can support others without losing yourself.
And you can heal—even if slowly.
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